I’ve lifted these comments by ‘Davebus’ courtesy of our buddies at DoMTB. They’re just too funny (and relevant) not to share. Credit to muddyfox for not yet giving me permission to abuse his copyright !!
Low mud routes or ‘LMR’ is a winter initiative set up by Winter Off-road Mountain Bikers against Tarmac Syndrome or ‘WOMBATS’ to help some Mountain Bikers who suffer from Winter Associated Ride Tardiness Syndrome or ‘WARTS’ as it is better known.
Causes of Mountain Bikers suffering from WARTS are normally all weather related for example too much Rain. For some Mountain Bikers who really suffer badly with WARTS it can be the stress of too much Mud on the trails.
WOMBATS may see fellow Mountain bikers suffering WARTS expressed through these usual symptoms… Colds and Man Flu, Road riding with their roadie mates, Acute Mechanical failure and Personal problems preventing them getting out for a ride or ‘CRAP’ for short.
However there is now a cure in the form of a set of actions that most riders suffering from WARTS can use to join the ranks of WOMBATS out winter trail riding. These are… Forget about the rain, Use the trails what ever the weather, Cancel any road rides, Know that mud can be washed away.
In short to sum up….
Mountain bikers suffering from WARTS who don’t give a CRAP and don’t want to join a bunch of WOMBATS should stay in and F#@K instead.