Muddymoles mountain biking in the Surrey Hills and Mole Valley

Snappy title required or perhaps “Can’t Speak French”

Posted by Mark | November 20, 2008 | 3 comments so far

Just so there is no confusion this is just my thoughts on last night’s ride. I am suffering from (among other things) a touch of writers block, so calling on one of the more bizarre conversations from last night I have opted to give this post the name of a Girl’s Aloud song. If you’re wondering why, it’s Lee’s fault. At least I didn’t call it “Gulling”.

Our route was the usual mix of Matt’s evil planning followed the democratic principle of “Why don’t we…” Like most rides my viewpoint was mainly from the back, and I was suffering from a serious case of celery legs toward the end, of which more later.

Matt had chosen the rooty climb up the side of Bocketts Farm as our proper initiation into the ride, the climb made all the more enjoyable for me by virtue of the fact I got stuck in the huge mud puddle at the bottom of the climb, then toppled over into the mud, covering most of my left hand side. Once at the top, and following a brief spell in the iron lung, it was off via Norbury House and the long riverside track to Crabtree Lane.

After the usual “where to next” conversation and in a moment of insanity the consensus came down on the nasty climb at High Ashurst, which is bastard of a climb in daylight and with conditions dry underfoot. As none of us had died by the time we reached the top we pressed on toward Headley, only to be stymied by a puncture in my back tyre. Fixing the puncture proved to be no problem, but did highlight that my tyres are absolutely knackered, with the sidewalls being as thin and lacy as ladies lingerie!

We finished off with the long drag across Headley Heath, but were rewarded with the “Secret Squirrel Single Track” section (wrong turns and all) and finally the long fast drop down through the Beaverbrook Estate, commonly known as Alsatian.

After all the cross country I had to cycle into Leatherhead at the end of the ride to put my Mum’s dustbin out (don’t ask). The route is almost completely flat, bar the very short gentle climb up past Leatherhead railway station. It is testament to how tired I was and just how much I was suffering from celery legs by the fact I got about halfway up and was seriously considering getting off and walking the rest.

I enjoyed every minute of last night’s ride, even the bits I didn’t enjoy! I must have been in a good mood when I got home, as I stood in the garden washing my bike under the glare of the security spotlight, and then scrubbed my legs with my bike brush to get the worse of the mud off my legs.

Things at home have not been too good of late, and I really needed to get out and blow off some steam. Thanks to Matt, Lee, Dave C, Dave P, Jem, Colin and Tony for making my ride last night absolutely fantastic.


About the author

There are 3 comments on ‘Snappy title required or perhaps “Can’t Speak French”’

We love to get comments from our readers - if you've spent a few moments to comment, thank-you.

  1. Colin says:

    Like you Mark, I enjoyed it in a sadastic kind of way as a result of the pain inflicted by Matt.

    It was fun though and some of the new trail names might stick.

    After seeing the faces at the window of the steamed up car at Nower Wood, I think we should rename the top half of Alsatian (past the golf course) to CockSucker!

    Not-so-secret-singletrack needs some more activity to bed the bracken back down again, come on folks, get out there and ride it !

    As you’re so fired up Mark, any chance of a pass for a Sunday ride too ?

  2. Matt says:

    Glad you enjoyed the ride. I am a bit mystified as to why I get held responsible for the hard rides but I think last night was a reasonable mix. I can’t keep up with the singlespeeders anyway!!

    It amuses (and slightly disturbs) me that there’s a fair chance that this site will start ranking well for search terms like ‘bike gulling’ and other kinds of dubious activity that Lee seems conversant with.

    Must be his age ;o)

    Girls Aloud gulling (sorry, couldn’t resist putting that on the page!)

  3. Lee says:

    In the interests of research there is actually a song by GA called Love/Hate – looks like Mike at Dialled is ahead of the game!

    I can see it now – twisty singletrack known as ‘Sound of the Underground’, leads into a belter of a descent called ‘Something kinda oooh’ with a bit of ‘Love Machine’ to finish it off. Might I suggest the latter two as an appropriate alternative to the Nower Wood trail!

    A great ride last night with great company as ever, with a few new trails for me which can’t be bad.

    See you Sunday where, if the weather man is right, it might be more appropriate to be naming trails after the Arctic Monkeys.

Leave a comment…

Have your say – we'd love to hear what you think.

If you have something to add, just complete this comment form (we will not publish your email address).

*Required information.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.